Here's a sneak preview of Bruce's new pilot for ABC called Carpoolers! Below is the first act of the pilot episode.

"THE TOASTER"

COLD OPENING

EXT. SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD - DAY

Two women, LEILA and CINDY, are inside a suburban house. They peer out the curtains at a car full of men - THE CARPOOLERS: GRACEN, LAIRD, AUBREY and DOUGIE. They are sitting in the car, comically motionless.

CINDY
What are they doing out there?

LEILA
Oh, you know them. Probably talking
about work...

The women nod in agreement, but:

INT. CAR - SAME MOMENT
Inside the car we see what they're doing. They're actually listening to 'riff rock' full blast. They enjoy it, grooving almost imperceptibly. After the song ends:

GRACEN
Okay. I'm ready to face my family
now.

AUBREY
Me too...

Cleansed, fortified, they get out - ready for home.
MUSIC: UP TEMPO.

MAIN TITLES: A groovy signature shot: The CARPOOLERS move toward us - a little like rock stars with white shirts and ties that flutter in the breeze. They arrive at the car and strike a pose to camera. As they do, the sprinklers explode behind them, backlit by the sun. The effect - they are an unlikely group of suburban heroes.

ACT ONE

INT. KITCHEN - MORNING

LEILA BROOKER (tenacious yet playful, early 40's) stares at a toaster, hypnotized by its high-tech gleam. She drops in some bread, delighted as it descends into the toaster like a hydraulic NASA arm. Her husband, GRACEN BROOKER (a problem causing-problem solver, 40's) enters.

GRACEN
New toaster?

LEILA
(fixated)
Yeah...

GRACEN
What was wrong with the old one?

LEILA
Nothing. But this is the new one.

GRACEN
(getting a good look)
Yikes. Looks expensive.

LEILA
With some things you just have to pay
for the best.

GRACEN
Oh, I didn't realize that a toaster
was one of those things.
(beat)
I hate to ask, but-

LEILA
-Two hundred. But you should taste
the toast...

They turn to see MARMADUKE (their long-haired counter-culture 22 year-old son) dressed only in his underwear. His timing is perfect. He arrives just as the toast pops. He grabs it and begins slathering it with butter. Gracen turns back to Leila.

GRACEN
Sweetie...What's your day like?

LEILA
Whew. I'm at the house. My flip's
almost done. I can smell the money!


Gracen turns to Marmaduke who is now devouring 'his' toast.

GRACEN
So hey man, what you got on for the
day?

MARMADUKE
Why you asking me?

GRACEN
(it's obvious)
Because it's your day?

LEILA
Marmaduke has an interview.

Gracen and Leila share a secret look. This is big news.

GRACEN
Really?

MARMADUKE
Yeah, can I borrow a shirt with a
collar and a whatcha' call it...tie?

GRACEN
What about pants?

MARMADUKE
Da-ad, I don't need pants. It's an
online interview. Like they all are
nowadays. Don't you know anything?

Marmaduke lurches toward his room.

GRACEN
Apparently not.

Gracen turns back to the toaster. He can't help himself.


GRACEN (CONT'D)
See, I didn't even know a toaster
could cost two hundred dollars.

LEILA
Don't worry. I paid for it with my
own money.

This hits a nerve. Gracen secretly simmers as Leila glances out the window.

LEILA (CONT'D)
The boys are here!

EXT. BROOKER'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
The car pulls up outside. AUBREY (a sweet but intense pushover, 40's) drives. DOUGIE (wide-eyed hopeful, 22) rides in the back like he's being chauffeured. But no, this is his carpool position.

DOUGIE
Do you want to see a picture of the
baby?

AUBREY
Of course I do.

Dougie has a family-photo quickly at the ready.

DOUGIE
(re: photo)
And that's my wife, Cindy. She's
great. Just great.

AUBREY
Nice looking family. Well done.

DOUGIE
You have any photos of your family?

AUBREY
No. They won't give me any. They're
busy. But I'm going to download some
from MySpace as soon as I figure out
the internet.

LAIRD (Gracen's 'playboy dentist' neighbor) literally hops the fence and comes towards the car. "Good mornings" as the guys get out to greet him.
DOUGIE
(to Laird)
Hey, do you want to see a picture of
the baby?

LAIRD
No.

Uncomfortable beat.

DOUGIE
And why not?

LAIRD
Because then I'd have to ask your
kids' names and ages, which means I'd
have to memorize your kids' names and
ages. C'mon, this is your third day
in the car, and you're already
whipping out the family photos?
What's next, gonna tell me your
'hopes and dreams?'


DOUGIE
Sorry, just trying to get to know
you.

LAIRD
You want get to know me? Come watch
me get a lap dance.

Dougie laughs, then stops. "Is this a joke?" One never knows with Laird. Begrudgingly, Laird takes a look.

LAIRD (CONT'D)
Cute. Really cute. Do you have any
of your vacation?

DOUGIE
(brightening)
Oh, why?

LAIRD
I thought it was more polite than
asking if you had a picture of your
wife in a bikini.

Gracen emerges, not happy to be throwing away his old toaster.

LAIRD (CONT'D)
What are you doing with that?

GRACEN
Throwing it out.

LAIRD
Why?

GRACEN
Because apparently it's the 'old'
toaster.

Laird takes it.

LAIRD
Can I have it?

Gracen glares at him: "You just took it."

AUBREY
(secretly to Dougie)
'She' took everything. This will be
the closest thing he has to
furniture.

Gracen gets in the car in his usual position - shotgun. A little like race car drivers, they 'belt' in.

AUBREY (CONT'D)
Gentlemen...Let's carpool...

MUSIC: UP TEMPO. Aubrey peels out. This is his favorite part of the day.
INT. CAR - A MOMENT LATER
The car speeds to the edge of their suburban neighborhood.

DOUGIE
There's a mailbox up here on the
right. Is there any way I could mail
a letter real quick?

LAIRD
Sure.

Laird snatches the letter from him. In one quick motion, he opens the window and releases it into the wind. Aubrey turns to a horrified Dougie.

AUBREY
No stops. It's kind of a rule.

INT. CAR - A LITTLE LATER
The freeway is crammed with early-morning commuters. The carpool lane - a lone ribbon of freedom. We pick up the car as it blasts down the lane.

GRACEN
(obsessing)
Well, she's at it again. This time
she spent two hundred dollars on a
toaster.

LAIRD/AUBREY
Oooh.../That's bad.

GRACEN
That's a hundred dollars a slice.

DOUGIE
Two hundred is a lot. But it all
depends on your income.

LAIRD
(slightly sarcastic)
Yeah, he's right. Gracen, how much
money are you making?

DOUGIE
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get too
personal.

AUBREY
Nothing's too personal. We're
Carpoolers.

GRACEN
Okay then. Aubrey, how much money do
you make?

AUBREY
Well, it's complicated really.
There's so many ways to look at it,
'gross', 'net', how much 'allowance'
my wife gives me-

LAIRD
-Oh come on. Why is it that us guys
can get lap dances next to each
other, but it's "too personal" to
talk about our income?

Clearly, Laird's the only one who would get a lap-dance.

LAIRD (CONT'D)
Okay guys. On the count of three
we'll all say how much money we make.

EVERYONE
Okay./Fine.

LAIRD
One...two...three...

Beat. Nobody speaks. They break out laughing.

EXT. COMMUTER CENTER - LATER
The car pulls into the bustling parking lot. Aubrey sees an empty spot at the same time a state-of-the-art BMW does - this is the 'cool' carpool, filled with rich guys with big white teeth. (A rivalry we'll track throughout the series.) Laird jumps out and blocks the Beemer while Aubrey nabs the spot. The 'cool' carpool honks angrily and speeds off.
The guys retrieve their suit-jackets from the trunk – a morning tradition. Then, they move toward the mountain of buildings in the distance.

AUBREY
...Actually, my wife gets my check.
I don't even know what my salary is.

DOUGIE
Why don't you just ask her?

Aubrey laughs at the horrifying prospect.

AUBREY
Oh, oh, no. I couldn't do that.

GRACEN
(growing edgy)
Well maybe you should. And maybe you
should remind her that marriage is a
tricky shadow-dance of give and take.
And that lately it feels like you're
playing 'catch up' in your own home!

Shared looks as they realize Gracen is (of course) talking about himself.

AUBREY
(what to say)
Well...Okay then.

LAIRD
Listen...Leila simply needs to talk
to you about the way she spends your
money.

GRACEN
My money? See, all the money I make
is 'our money', but all the money she
makes is 'her money.' She bought it
with hers.

LAIRD
And how much money does she make?

GRACEN
Lately she's been making loads of it,
but I don't know. There are things
we don't talk about, and money's one
of them.

LAIRD
You know what would be disturbing?
If your wife made more than you.

GRACEN
(worried)
You think she could?

LAIRD
Here's how it works. Men go off to
war, and women shop.

AUBREY
My wife doesn't even know what I do
for a living. She just thinks that I
'go and make money.'

DOUGIE
I've been meaning to ask you. What
do you do for a living?

AUBREY
(quickly, flustered)
Well, I liaise between people who
gather information and those who
require information. Well maybe I
should back up and first explain-

LAIRD
-Listen, nobody knows what you do for
a living!
(beat)
The point is, if we don't do what men
are supposed to do, are we really
'men'?

GRACEN
And if we don't provide for our
women, do they really need us?

This thought hangs in the air.

GRACEN (CONT'D)
I sure wish I knew if she made more
money than me.

LAIRD
Let's find out.

GRACEN
I can't. I really can't.

LAIRD
Say no more. Just leave it with me.

DOUGIE
(under, to Aubrey)
What does that mean?

AUBREY
(whispering ominously)
Trouble...

Gracen and Laird turn toward the building they share. Aubrey and Dougie to their respective offices.

END OF ACT ONE